Follow the Leader

The 13toMan seminar uses the 4 principles of manhood as stated in Robert Lewis' book Raising A Modern Day Knight. I strongly recommend this book to any father of a son. The third part of our definition of a man is - a real man leads courageously.

Looking back again at Adam - he was created to be a leader but blew it pretty early. He failed to lead and protect his family when it was needed the most.

Jesus was just the opposite. He demonstrated leadership in the wilderness while being tempted. He demonstrated leadership by serving His selfish bickering disciples. Then to top things off He demonstrated leadership by laying down His life for His creation.

Some equate leadership with telling others what to do. Others obtain leadership and then power by deceit.

Jesus gives us a picture of a hungry man turning down the cheap trick challenge of a tempter and the shortcut that could have saved Him from suffering on the cross.

Men, how can we teach our sons to be leaders?

The R Word

The 13toMan seminar uses the 4 principles of manhood as stated in Robert Lewis' book Raising A Modern Day Knight. I strongly recommend this book to any father of a son. The second part of our definition of a man is - a real man accepts responsibility.

I stood in the hall of the hospital in Des Moines alone. We had moved there just a few months earlier so we didn’t have many close relationships. Family was on the way from Texas. My wife had just given birth to our first child. After they checked my daughter out and bathed her she slept in the hospital nursery. My wife was resting also. I was completely alone. I realized in those few minutes that I was responsible for my little girl. I had no one to ask what to do next. I clearly remember the feeling of parental responsibility for the first time.

Being a man means that we accept the responsibility that God has given us. In John 4, Jesus' disciples are concerned about Him and try to get Him to eat. His response accepts the responsibility of a man. "My food is to do the will of Him who sent Me, and accomplish His work."

Quoting Lewis "... the wise father will train his son to embrace these with enthusiasm: a will to obey (God's will as revealed in the scriptures), a work to do (not just the work of his job, but also the work in his home, church, and community), and a woman to love (his wife)."

We all know the guy at work that never accepts responsibility when things go wrong. Men in our culture (and most others too I would imagine) blame everyone else but themselves for the ills around us. Obviously we live in a broken, fallen world. It is much easier for our boys to learn to become men that accept responsibility from us than any other way.

DC Talks' song In The Light phrases it well.

I am the king of excuses
I've got one for every selfish thing I do

What's going on inside of me?
I despise my own behavior
This only serves to confirm my suspicions
That I'm still a man in need of a savior

Dads, what ways are you using to teach your boys to accept responsibility? Are you doing a good job of modeling it?

Rejected

The 13toMan seminar uses the 4 principles of manhood as stated in Robert Lewis' book Raising A Modern Day Knight. I strongly recommend this book to any father of a son. The first part of our definition of a man is - a real man rejects passivity.

Pre-teen and teenage boys are exceptionally passive. Well, that's not exactly true. They are hyped up on the wonderful little chemical testosterone. It causes us males to do some stupid things. I noticed with my sons as they approached puberty that they started challenging me. My oldest would come up behind me and try to pin my arms to my sides. It's the male way of sizing himself up in a safe environment. This wonderful hormone sometimes does our thinking for us. And it makes young men far from passive.

But with all this chemically fueled aggression men can become passive when we are asked to lead spiritually or take up a social cause.

Why is this? I'm not exactly sure, but I bet it goes back to the story of the fall of man. Talking serpent arrives in garden. Talking serpent starts sweet talking woman. Talking serpent convinces her to do one of the things she is not allowed to do. So where was Adam? Possibly naming a few late coming animals? Not according to Genesis. Go ahead and read the first part of Genesis 3. Go ahead, I'll wait. There it is in verse 6. She gave some to her husband who was there with her. So what did our hero Adam do? Was he bothered by the freaky talking serpent? Did it bother him that his wife was being led astray? Seems unlikely since he ate what she gave him.

It appears that it is pretty natural for us men to drop the ball when we need to step up spiritually. Someone threatens our family's safety - we are ready to grab the gun. But threaten the family spiritually and we can't be bothered to put down the remote. Threaten our society with racism, greed or another social ill? If we can't blow it up or shoot it then we might miss SportsCenter.

Jesus was the opposite of Adam. When he was challenged spiritually he responded by doing what we couldn't. He conquered the threat to humanity's spiritual life.

To quote Lewis "Real manhood begins with a decision to reject social and spiritual passivity when nothing is the more comfortable and natural option."

Dads, how do our sons see us? Are we spiritually passive? When we are faced with an issue of social justice do we get involved or leave it to someone else? Honestly I look at myself as pretty passive most of the time. Just writing out the ideas in this blog the last couple of weeks has brought out areas where I don't reject passivity. I haven't put as much work as I should into teaching my youngest son to be a man. When it comes to social justice I am involved in a couple of things, but I could teach my son much more about spreading the kingdom of God with a little more effort. Anyone else want to tell us how you deal with rejecting passivity?